According to Kids

Adult performers act out the stream-of-consciousness creativity of children as they reflect on a huge variety of subjects—the results are hysterical.

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Episodes Season 4

  • 1. Track Events

    Track is where everybody runs! According to our kid experts, all the races happen at the same time. Including the relay race, where you rely on someone to bring you the stick, and the hurdles, where being really short is a big advantage.

  • 2. Swimming

    There are a lot of rules to the swimming events in the Olympics, like the winner of the butterfly event goes to the one wearing the best butterfly costume. Freestyle swimming is where everyone swims whatever direction they want and artistic swimming, which is simply ballroom dancing, but in the pool.

  • 3. Gymnastics

    There’s a big secret to the gymnastics events. There all secretly ninjas. They flip like ninjas, spin like ninjas – but they don’t wear the outfits, so no one knows. Learning how to do gymnastics can be hard – especially in the beginning when your coach has to swing you around the pole. The ribbon dance is all about making it look good on camera without tangling it on the camera person.

  • 4. Field Events

    Field Events are some of the most dangerous events in the Olympics. How could anyone control where the hammer throw goes? You can’t, people just have to duck. Javelin is just throwing a broom, once you take the broom off. And the pole vault? Just don’t get stuck at the top.

  • 5. Heptathlon

    The Heptathlon is the most confusing sport in the Summer Olympics. Even the announcers don’t know what it is. But our kids have figured it out. It’s a race for very happy people.

  • 6. Equestrian

    People don’t realize that the riders are only there to get the medal at the end. The rest of the work is done completely by the horse. From watching salsa dancing on a phone to learn how to do dressage, to having a coach who speaks to them only in horse, even their own breakfast cereal!

  • 7. Behind the Scenes

    Filming the Olympics is hard work. The camera people often have to run as fast as the runners, and can even win the races by accident. The people who talk on the microphone are called ‘talkos’ and they have to compete to see who is the best. The gold, silver and bronze medalists get to go to the Olympics.

  • 8. Diving

    Diving is a super scary sport, they have to jump off this really high diving board. And the biggest splash – preferably one that soaks the audience – wins! Pairs diving is extra hard because they often have arguments about which dive to do while standing on the board.

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